A rant, between music posts, that you don't care about

OK.....here is where I am in LIFE.....I am 53 years old, and yet, I was able to retire from my job with the state of Ohio last year after nearly 31 years of "service" (ha ha)......so, it nearly HAS been a year of doing nothing........and I am SICK AND TIRED OF IT. I am to goddamn young to lay on the couch watching Judge Marilyn Milian all day (I'd hit it, but that is hardly the point)........

I am BORED to the point of depression, seriously.......life sucks, when you wake up and have nowhere to go......don't get me wrong, the first few months of retirement were fabulous.......have never been happier.......but now, I am both bored AND depressed, from having nothing to do, as well as feeling that life has no meaning......anyway, as of the last week, I have a couple of job offers on the table (and, yes, after a year, I am VERY ready to go back to work).......one is from a firm that does consulting on the same type of highway construction I did with the state of Ohio......did it 31 years actually......GOD I hated it, but they REALLY want me, and will pay me nearly 30 bucks an hour......not sure for how long, but from my first interview (secnd tomorrow) I could pretty much name my terms........

The other job is very different......it is a truck driver job, delivering cigs/food/drinks etc. to Speedways/convenience stores etc......pays about half what the other job pays, BUT I am pretty sure I could stay there five years or so with little chance of layoff, get my son through college, and then "retire" for good, as I REALLY DO get a good chunk of change from my State of Ohio retirement every month.........GOD I just don't know which to choose.......honestly I am leaning towards the truck driving job, less stress, get to be by myself (almost like a benefit!), and almost guarenteed I could stay employed until I got my kid educated........on the other hand, the other job pays so damn much that it's awfully hard to say "no" to, BUT I could be laid off come winter time (not eligeble for unemployment compensation, due to my monthly pension).......I have a couple of days to figure out what is best for my family, it's none of YOUR worry at all, but I've just been stressing about it so much of late I thought maybe it would help me to write it all down.........

As of 4:09 AM, Monday, June 1, 2015, I have NO FUCKING IDEA which I am going to select....I
DO need to pick one of them, really. because if I don't I am going to die of boredom  (really), I NEED a reason to get up in the morning......

So I don't know.......right now I am sort of leaning toward the driving job, WAY less money but WAY less stress too.....on the other hand the consulting firm wants me BAD, I am going to talk to them again tomorrow, I am expecting them to offer me something that will blow my socks off, they really DO want me bad........I am very torn.......my wife and son tell me to "do what makes you happiest", but what makes me "happiest" is doing what's best for my wife and son, obviously.......a "good" dilemma, but a dilemma nonetheless.......

None of you, certainly, know all the details of this situation........frankly, it's MY problem, and NOT REALLY too bad of a problem to have......but here I am at 4:00 AM, not able to sleep coz I am torn about this stuff, and figuring simply that if I write it all down, perhaps some answer will magically pop into my head......thus far it hasn't happened, but if you are one of the unluckies that happens to read this, I'm sorry.......go elsewhere and enjoy the punk rarities or the mega-Dickies posts or whatever.......I'm not asking advice, I'm just sitting here drinking beer and wondering WHAT THE FUCK I AM GOING TO BE DOING the next five years or so......I just want to have a job that doesn't make me miserable, as I'm sure many of you know can happen......anyway, it's MY fucking problem, NOT yours, it's self-centered egotistical nonsense to post it here ANYWAY, but I just needed to see it in print and thought maybe it would make more sense to me....not really though......


I REALLY love everyone who guests, comments, listens, shares, or whatever here.......trust me. I wouldn't dream of doing this if I felt it was unappreciated......I consider EVERYONE who contributes or reads or acquires stuff here to be a part of my "family".........I have been doing this so long, I won't stop unless made to, I have ALWAYS said this is "your" blog, not "mine", as evidenced by the fact that I will post damn near ANYTHING sent to me by ANYONE, be it within the normal genre lines or not.......it's all about what PEOPLE WANT TO SHARE, and that is fucking GREAT.

Anyway, I think I'll go to bed, as I have another job interview (with the consulting firm) tomorrow
afternoon.......I apologize for this, it has NOTHING to do with any of you in the slightest, I just was in the mood to put a couple of my thoughts into writing, rather than just bitching like I generally do.

Have a great day/night/week/month.........just enjoy your life, it doesn't last as long as you think......another of my former co-workers passed this week, it's happening more and more often that people who have touched my life in one way or the other passes away......just sad, and each time makes me, at least, review my own mortality.

Hope all of you are well, healthy, and, especially, happy...........by the way, you may wonder why this post is adorned with pictures of Rose McGowan.......the answer is simple, I'd hit that like a storm door in a hurricane